Awkward Fruit

(This post has been really hard to write because Sister#1 is right near me, so every time she looks over at me I need to close the window with the blog post)
I really, really hate that I'm scared of eating some fruit. And it's not that I have a weird fear of pineapples, like pineappleofdeathphobia or something, it's that stuff I've heard of has convinced me it's inappropriate to eat that fruit. Like, the Kesha (that's right, I left out the $ sign) song Grow A Pear. I'm now afraid that whenever I eat a pear I am doing something dirty.
Or how in Sex Ed we have to put a condom on a banana. Gee, thanks, Sex Ed. Now I can never eat bananas again. Was that your purpose?
But I think this can be used as an advantage. Whenever my mom gets mad at me for not eating my fruit I can say "Oh, I feel like I am doing a sexually inappropriate act whenever I eat this kind of fruit. So I think I'm going to have to pass."
Actually, I think my parents would ground me if I said that.
But it may work on some of your parents. Or say that to friends, teachers, co-workers, That Guy You Met At That Bar, online friends, your neighborhood hobo, or the person who works at the front desk of a hotel. Just make sure that there is a banana/pear close by or the whole conversation will die.